remembering joy de la cruz

joy de la cruz

today was the 6 year death anniversary of a dear sister-friend, joy de la cruz. being so, i found myself drenched in thoughts & emotions about joy, love, life & death. reflecting on the many lessons i have learned from joy’s passing, i recall how immensely i have grown and changed since that one evening in october.

tonight i sat at the dinner table with old ucsd friends. we talked and reminisced about joy. we shared stories about her zany and random tendencies (like how she once slept on top of a denny’s. wtf, i know. i don’t believe it myself.) yet although we pretty much agreed that she was a crazy one, we also agreed that her complicatedly contradictory self is what we loved about her.

referred to as the “fairy god-mother of student activism,” tonight i giggled to myself because it was just so true. she was involved in every movement at ucsd. joy was one of those rare individuals who was all over the place and u just couldn’t figure out how she got around (cuz she had no car) or where she got her energy from (she seemed to always be partying or working, but never sleeping). as much as i tried, i could never quite understand her. but i admired her none-the-less.

so how have i changed since 2003? in too many ways…the reason i always talk about living life in the moment and in true joy is because of the impact joy de la cruz had on my life. if it wasn’t for her, i don’t think i would be this involved in putting my art out into the community. if it wasn’t for her, i don’t think i would be out engaging with people the way i do, trying to understand the heart and passions of those i interact with. because of joy i never want to take a moment or any person for granted. i try to live as honestly and vivaciously as i can.

never take a moment or a breath for granted.u never know when it could be your last.

be true to yourself.

live with no regrets.

live life in love and in community.

don’t postpone joy

…these are the lessons that i’ll never forget from my dear sister-friend.

thank you, joy.

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carpe diem: designing for left turn magazine

About a month ago, I was invited by Vasudha Desikan of Left Turn Magazine to create the cover for their upcoming issue (which should be out sometime this month) focusing on Asia, migrant labor, & the economy. Of course, I was ecstatic that I was asked to do such a thing. “My first magazine cover,” I thought, “how exciting!”

I knew that the task would be new and therefore, also, artistically stimulating. Prior to the news, I had wanted to be challenged in my creative endeavors….and challenged I was….

 In the process of creating the piece, I had to create many drafts and revisions until coming to the final piece. I give props to every graphic designer I know because the revision process can be tedious.

 Here are some pictures of my first draft and some revisions….

First Draft

 

Revisions...

the winner!

In the end, this is what the piece ended up looking like (see above)…

Included are images of the rice terraces in the Philippines, overseas domestic workers, and migrant laborers. The whole piece was created by hand and then texturized and cleaned up in photoshop. But, in the end, overall photoshop use was pretty minimal.

I am extremely proud of this project. I am thankful for the opportunities I have been given and I look forward to what the future has to bring.

I love life!

rainbows of transformation

over the past few days i have been contemplating the events going on around me. with the fires buring, the deaths happening in the families of close friends, the illnesses that have come into my life via family members, and all the changes within the social structures i once knew i can’t help but feel exhausted, uneasy, and in a questioning mood. what does this all mean?

essentially, all these occurences could be seen as stimuli for being depressed. but, i don’t neccessarily feel completely melancholy. i just feel like i am waiting for the moment when i can understand what all this means in the context of the universe and where life is taking me, where time is taking us as a people.

as for now, all i can really read into the accumulation of these situations is that CHANGE is inevitable & CHANGE is happening right now even if i don’t want to acknowledge or accept it. What kind of changes will the wind bring for me, my fam, my friends? All i can really do is ask is for PATIENCE to be my companion right now and TRUST that life will continue to unfold beautifully.

and so, i think of rainbows….

rainbows have always been a reminder of inner transformation and the influence of a greater spiritual influence in my life.  whenever i see one, much like when i see pink roses, i feel that i am being taken care of and guided.

the picture above was taken in oakland, ca in feb 2009. my bff jason perez, his partner carmela, and my good friend genesis and i had just arrived and needed to refill our gas tank. although sleepy, i looked up and to my joy i saw this ranbow arching over lake merrit (my favorite spot in the bay area).

to me, i was being told that life is beautiful, that life is where it is suppose to be at for me at that moment. i felt blessed and in love with a world that was able to communicate with me through the miracles of nature. to this day, rainbows mean so much to me. they remind me that life is meant to live in a way in which we illuminate our light to others. we need to give beauty back to the world just as we recieve it in our lives.

today, the image of the rainbow kept popping up in my head despite the ugliness outside and the uneasiness inside me.

may rainbows always fill out lives and flood our eyes and hearts with love, light, and beauty. may they be a symbol that we are always able to transcend.

————

more info on rainbows….

below is an exceprt from http://www.spiritualwisdom.org.uk/colours-of-the-rainbow2.htm 

check it out for various meanings of rainbows and the colors of the rainbow….

according to the story of noah’s arc:

“The rainbow is called, in this transformational story, a divine covenant sign – in our terms a life and death promise … a divine pledge of:

a) a new beginning when the old is swept away

b) unbroken divine love and care

c) the cyclical evolving of a new world”

 

 

life. make it count

“make it count.” this saying first came into existence in november 2008 when my girlfriends and i had a getaway/ reunion in vegas. my homegirl, kat and i came through to the event with less than 24 hours to spare so we knew we had to make the most of it. hence, the catchy phrase “make it count!” was born and has been flying off the tip of my tongue ever since.

the other day i showed up at my former work place, the public allies office in los angeles. when i got there, my x-co-worker carlos said to me, ” you look happy.” now, normally i would expect someone to  simply say, “thank you!” in response to a statement like this. but, because i am me, i said thank you, yet at the same time my internal monologue sounded something like, ” really? daymn, did i use to look sad when i worked here?”….

when carlos told me that i looked happy, i began to reflect on all the experiences and decisions i have made since i left public allies one year ago that have lead me to my current state. it wasn’t that i was not happy before. it is just that now i am doing all the things i want to do and i have come to the realization that I AM IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE AND MY HAPPINESS. in order to be happy in this present moment, i had to examine what it is i truly want in this life.  my conclusion was that I want my life to be filled with love and joy.

 in order to achieve the states of love and joy that i longed for, i knew i had to reprioritize my life. i decided to get out and be with people more often. i allowed myself the freedom to say that it is ok for me to not settle in to a 9-5, but to go after my dream of building a life out of spreading art into the community and finding alternative ways of getting the means ($$) to support myself. i had to let go of the idea that by the age of 26 i was suppose to be living on my own with a stable job…all this wasn’t easy. but it’s been the best decision i have made.

although i feel the road ahead is not so clear for me, i feel i am actually living life, not just letting life pass me by.

everyday i wake up and tell myself to MAKE TODAY COUNT.

whatever “make it count” means to you, just do it.

live life with no regrets.

 seize the moment.

be-at the beat.

let me leave you with a few songs to take you through the day and inspire you…

“we can be new” by amel larrieux

“live your life” by rihanna & TI

we fight, we love

because we just do…

above is my entry in the NAPAWF (National Asian Pacific American Women’s Forum) t-shirt contest. Hopefully I submitted on time, seriously!

 

below is my partial muse for the design…

we fight/ we love by q-tip featuring raphael saadiq (listen here)

“  we fight and love so much

 sometimes  i get confused of who we are 

maybe if we just stop and chat

 we’ll find out who we are “

i don’t think that I could have said it any better than q-tip. sometimes we just talk to much. we get caught up in this and that. too much noise can cloud our true understanding of who we really are. sometimes  we let ourselves become reactionary (although it cannot be helped sometimes and may even be neccessary in certain moments).

i say, listen to this song and take a piece of advice from q-tip. whether it’s our reactionary response in relation to another person, an institution, or even ourselves i advise we step back, take a breath, and evaluate each situation from a holistic perspective…maybe it is in these moments of thought and reflection we will find more of who we really are and understand how to share that wonderful person with the world.

hope & happenstance

hope is a belief in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in ones life. hope is the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. ^[1] hopefulness is somewhat different from optimism in that hope is an emotional state, whereas optimism is a conclusion reached through a deliberate thought pattern that leads to a positive attitude.

———-

for the past month or so, i have been taking time out to examine my thoughts and feelings on life & living in order to better understand who i am and who i want to become. for those of you who know me, i have always been into contemplating the deeper meaning of life and happenstance. at times, i have been critiqued for thinking too much. sometimes, i frustrate myself because i do. but i would never change this about myself, because it is in thinking deeply and reflecting upon how the pieces of life’s puzzle fit together that i find the greater meaning in my life.

one thing i have learned in this past month is that hope is crucial to getting where u want to be. without hope how can one move forward in life? we all hope for certain things, but how can we understand hope in a more intimate way? how can we connect with hope at the center of our being? i don’t have the answers. i am still searching. but as i search, i try to practice engaging with what i think hope feels like emotionally and then i attempt to hold that feeling in the core of my being while focusing on whom or what i am hopeful for. it may sound crazy, but i guess u gotta try it to understand.

back in 2003, when i lived in mira mesa/ san diego area, at a time in my life when i was again searching deeply, i would notice that pink flowers were blooming in my front yard. i took these pink flowers as a sign/ symbol from the universe that i should continue to think positively and trust that everything would be taken care of. given that pink roses represent joy, happiness and love, when i started noticing all the pink roses and flowers in my neighborhood and everywhere that went, i felt that it was a sign i was being taken care of and that i should just remain hopeful for my future. everytime i would see a pink flower, especially a rose, it was as though i was being told to TRUST in life’s process.

in these days where i have chosen to pursue a path that has no guarantees (if you’re wondering, i have decided not to go to school to get my MSW, but to pursue my passion for art), i have noticed the resurgence of these pink flowers all around me and i am reminded that i am not alone. i feel the universe guiding me and directing my heart to its truth.

some people stay focused on reality and consistently point out “what-is”. although i see the point of this, we cannot stay fixed upon what-is. we must look beyond and have a vision of something different and something more in order to create a change in our lives. to stay focused upon what-is does not leave room for what-can-be.  let us move towards a time where we have an emotional vision of what we want our lives to be so that we can attract it and achieve it.

holleratchagirl!…lookbook cover “reverie in rapture” posted on bellamaven.com

hey now! check out bellamaven.com to see the lookbook cover i created. i think you just might like it cuz i really do. hurry! i don’t know how long they are gonna leave it up. but just in case it comes down, i am gonna paste a copyof  it. hehe. see below.

to be honest, this was the first time i was commissioned to do a piece for a fashion lookbook, but i really enjoyed the process and the challenge of it all. connecting to the essence of bella maven definately took work. i mean, never did i try to understand the deeper meaning behind a retail company  & their products before, you know what i mean? it was sort of an awkward thing to engage in or so i thought it would be.

before i could start creating, i had to ask myself, what does this company stand for? how does bm relate to women and try to empower them (and yes, i think that fashion can be empowering…if u want details hit me up and we can have a convo over coffee or something ). the bm saying “something beautiful everyday” resonated with me as i took to the task.  i believe every woman wants to feel beautiful. but what is beauty? what makes something or someone beautiful? these are the questions i focused on as i attempted to tap into the essence of bm.

to me the definiton of beauty is boundless because everyone has a different take on what is beautiful. but, speaking of beauty as a inner quality that is radiated outward through one’s temperament, disposition, and shared energy i feel there is a certain raw-ness and real-ness that is associated with the beauty of one’s persona. this real and raw quality is what i tried to capture in the piece above, entitled reverie in rapture. i feel that there is a certain honesty and vulnerability within the image (perhaps negotiated in the facial expression and body positioning of the female character & the overall free and floating quality of the work) that is representative of my feelings on the subject…there is no official standard of beauty that women should be measured against. every woman sets her own standard. all i know is that true beauty is, like i said, honest and vulnerable.

when i read/ hear the bm mantra “something beautiful everyday” i think of all the beauty that i see within the folks who have touched my life and inspire me to be the best me at all times. i think of all the strong women who hold it down for social justice, for their families, for their communities. i think of all the women who seek out truth in this life, who speak their truth and let their hearts be heard.

to all the fierce women who are beautiful on the inside and outside, this piece is dedicated to you because you are strong and beautiful. to me you all represent beauty at its core. you are what i see as the  face of bella maven.

my first interview! on bellamaven.com

 below you will find a copy of the interview i did with bellamaven.com, a fantastic online fashion retail boutique, for which i just created the look book cover (coming soon).

today is a special day friends! my first interview!

wow. i never would have thought that this could happen to me ( i kinda feel like singing that kelly clarkson american idol song right about now but  you’re lucky i can’t sing over wordpress.)  i feel so blessed that my work has reached the masses that is has. i am putting faith in the future of my artistic endeavors.

i will continue to create because not only does it fulfill me, but i feel it is also my connection to my community in an undescribably intimate way.

i thank everyone for always encouraging me to believe in myself. i hope that this is just the beginning of something beautiful.

interview begins here….

Recently, Bella Maven commissioned up-and-coming artist Loralei Rose Bingamon to design the cover of our first look book. We love the piece she did for us and will have it on our website soon. Loralei makes the most amazing collages. Here’s an excerpt of the interview.

What type of medium do you use? What is your speciality?

Although I often incorporate various mediums such as photography and painting into my work, I would consider myself to be a collage artist.

When did you start making art?

I have always been in love with art and color. I guess you could say that ever since I was a kid I liked making things. But the deep passion I have for being creative and expressing myself through the work of my hands really cultivated when I was in junior high and high school. I took art classes for six years and learned about ceramics, drawing, and crafts. Then, when I was at UCSD I started doing collages as a way to express feelings of love, community, confusion, hurt and all of the above. I realized then that collaging really worked for me. I have been working on my craft ever since.

What inspires you? Who influences your creative process?

Inspiration comes to me in many ways. I have been inspired to create by the life experiences I have had traveling to Central America and the Philippines. I have been inspired by the stories of struggle of people all over the world, by current events, and by the cultivation of various communities of I have been involved in. Because my art is a visual reflection of the emotions I feel as I carry on through my life’s journey I can also say that I am also inspired by life itself.

Of course, other artists also inpsire me. Musicians such as Amel Larrieux, Lauryn Hill, Eryakah Badu, Jill Scott, India Arie, Keri Hilson, Santigold, and MIA are a few artists whose creativity, drive, and talent push me to keep going and strive for perfection.

Community artists working in all mediums, dj’s, dancers, and anyone who has passion for their art move me and keep me inspired.

Describe your process of creating a piece?

To me, creating a piece is an intimate process. I really have to be centered and connected to myself in order to begin. When making a piece, I first focus on the intention of what I am trying to visually express. What is the mood of the piece? What colors come to mind? Are there any words that stand out to me about what I want to convey? From there everything just sort of happens. My process is a combination of intuition, connection, love and appreciation for aesthetics.

Do you’re pieces have meaning or symbolism? Are there particular themes you use? Do you have a muse?

Most of my current pieces are tied together in that at the core of my work I try to emphasize the vitality of life. Life should be lived in the moment and in joy. In all my pieces, even if there is a more serious undertone, I try to capture life’s essence. My past five or so pieces have incorporated the image of the butterfly. I never intended for this to be a reoccurring symbol or theme, it just happened. To me, the butterfly represents freedom of spirit, imagination, and letting go of fear. Non-coincidentally I have been trying to focus on living freely without fear and being in tune with my imagination. So, it is only fitting that my art reflects what is in my heart.

As far as having a muse, it varies. A lot of times, my muses are my friends and others within my social network who inspire me for whatever reason.

What future projects are you working on?

Right now, I am working on the cover for the next issue of Left Turn Magazine. You will also be able to find me selling prints of my artwork at the Clit Fest in Los Angeles from August 7th-9th.

I know I didn’t really talk about it much, but I also give art workshops. I have a few workshops lined up in the next month as well.

And, I also hope to be coming out with some t-shirts screenprinted with my artwork in the near future.

Where can I find out more information about you and your artwork?

You can find more information about me on my blog, loraleirosesays…expressyoursoul @ www.expressyoursoul.wordpress.com.

Pictures of my artwork, of the workshops I provide, things that inspire me, and my contact info can all be found here.

free falling joy

* a kinda new piece by me (tried something different with the visual subject than with my other pieces…see my heARTwork gallery & you’ll understand. but, overall, to me, it works for what i am attempting to convey [see poem below])

** because every experience should be lived in the moment…because we deserve to live life FREE in SPIRIT

 Free Falling Joy

I am the one who floats and flies freely in the sky

The white snow below reflects the dazzling sunlight

And I remember the freedom of my spirit

 

 As it always was

As it always is

As it always is

 

 I am the one whose energy circles the earth

Swirling and capturing moments

The essence of life in my palm

 

Pathways paved purple are never direct

Looping back and forth

Yet perfect, somehow perfect in its own time

 

I am the one who floats and flies freely in the sky

Like little fish dancing in the clouds

I make a new home wherever I go

 

Life’s music beats and rocks my soul

In every break I breathe in life

Living each moment in sound joy

-LRB

making moves

so, i just wanted to let u all know that i am in the process of fine tuning my blog. there are some minor changes, but for the most part everythng is still the same. i am just making it prettier and more functional.

thank you all for your continued support. i am in the process of putting together more community workshops and engaging in new artistic endeavors which i am sure you will see blogs about in the future.

it’s been awhile since i have shared my thoughts or any work with you. summertime brings about so many changes and new life. i have just been experiencing and going though so much emotionally, spiritually, even physically.

in the past few months i have learned that if you really want something you need to get out there and make it happen. nothing gets done for those who just sit there and wait for their lives to change and become what they want it to be. we have to make moves and be an active participant in our own lives…in our own happiness…to create and experience joy.

in these summer moments i am deciding whether or not going to get my master’s in social work is the right move right now. i think about all the community work i do with gabnet, with my art and i wonder how to mesh it all together. i think about love, loved ones, loving my community and i ponder how to do it all better.

thanks to everyone for being a part of my journey as an artist and as myself.

in the presence of community i find myself.